The one who got away.

Birthday Cake

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I used to like birthday cakes. There was even a time before when I was in high school, no one gave me a cake for my birthday so I bought one for myself, lit the candles up and made a wish alone. I don’t know, maybe there’s something about cakes and balloons that make me happy. But after what happened the other day,  I think I will throw every birthday cake that I will see. 

For the first time in my life, someone surprised me for my birthday. After a long and tiring day from work in a school event I went to Ministop to have my yosi break and I was touched when my friends came out from the store, singing a Happy Birthday song bringing with them balloons, a giant card and a birthday cake. That time, I told myself that this is going to be the best birthday ever.

….But I was wrong. 

I did not expect that after this surprise, something bad will happen. But wth, life is full of surprises right?

The next day, the guy who was bringing the cake decided to end what he had (We used to date for 3 months already - on off) and my world literally crashed. I mean, after you surprised me in front of everyone you’re going to do this to me? Words can’t explain how I feel right now. I want to hate him for doing that and breaking my heart but I can’t because I know what I feel for him is so much more. He made me smile even if it was just for a while and I’m thankful for that. I can’t blame him tho if he decided to end it because I admit, my life is fucked up and I had my chance already but I let it slip away and I regret it more than anything. 

Every time I see a birthday cake, a card or balloons, memories of that surprise flashes behind my eyes and my heart beats faster and faster as if it’s going to break. 

2 days from now is my 21st birthday but I’d rather sleep than to celebrate it. I’m too damaged to pretend to be happy.

So from now on, I don’t like receiving a Birthday Cake on my birthday. I curse Birthday Cakes. I hate Birthday Cakes. I don’t even like people to greet me on my birthday because it will only make me feel bad. Ugh, I’m in so much pain right now and I’ve never felt this for a long time and I hate it. I’ve never been this attached to someone. So fuck it.  

1. natileigh posted this